


Damnation

by Praetyger



Series: The Emanation Chronicles [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Survival
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25862527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Praetyger/pseuds/Praetyger
Summary: The sequel to Purgatory."You know, it's a little like Hell." Clara said, cradling the Doctor's face in her hands as he knelt in despair. "Almost ...romantic."
Relationships: Twelfth Doctor/Clara Oswin Oswald
Series: The Emanation Chronicles [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876696
Comments: 25
Kudos: 24





	1. Prologue

There are parties, and then there are major, blowout parties. And then there are Akillian parties. Music blasted through the capital as the celebrations spilled out into every street. Traffic, a complete standstill, which was to be expected seeing as there weren’t any people inside the vehicles. They were all on the streets, cheering, singing and roaring. Crying. It was over. 

“This was all thanks to you Doctor” said the Priestess, as she approached the gruff man in the courtyard. 

“Don’t _dare_ say that name to me ! ” 

He looked as stern and jaded as he had when she had first met him, all those years ago. He hadn’t even changed clothes. He was wearing the same brown leather trenchcoat she had found him in as he clambered out of his mysterious blue box. Out of his TARDIS. She would have said he hadn’t aged a day, but she knew that wasn’t remotely true. She could see it in his eyes, could feel it in his very presence. The centuries of War. The Time War continued to rage through the universe and he continued to fight despite her pleading. 

“Right, right. I forgot how touchy you get about it. But I know the stories, I know who he was, what he did and I know what you do.”

“I do what is necessary. That is not the same as being ...Him.” said the Doctor. 

“Perhaps not. But the fact that you think that proves it all the more.” 

The Doctor sighed and placed his goblet at the edge of the fountain, not a single drop missing. 

“I should be going. I have a summons from the Cardinal to ignore.” said the Doctor striding towards the shadows of the palace. To where she knew the TARDIS stood. The Priestess followed. 

“The festivities have quite literally only begun. Won’t you stay a little longer ? For ...rest if nothing else. You are the guest of honor after all. The people would welcome the opportunity to show their gratitude.” 

“The Akillians are a highly sophisticated and cultured race, but they are of little strategic importance. Aren’t even worth a time-lock. Your solar system got caught in a passing echo of the War and I was passing through, that’s all. You cannot begin to imagine what it’s like out there. Where the innocents die and the monstrous lie. You expect me to sit here and ... _celebrate_ ?! “ the Doctor growled. “No, if you wish to give me anything. Give me ...peace. Give me the simple knowledge that just for once in this blasphemous war I was able to do _something_. Something that matters. Something good.” 

“Will you at least...visit ? As a friend ? The kids would like to see you again. And I’d like you to see them.” she asked. 

The Doctor froze at the door of his TARDIS and smiled. “You just like it because you know I can’t get mad when they call me ...that.” 

"Grandpa Grumpy Butt ? “ 

“That’s the one” the Doctor laughed as he stepped inside. “I’ll visit. I just have ...some chores to do first.”

“Doctor, th-”

He snapped the door shut in her face. She asked for that one. 

She sighed as the engines fired to life and the TARDIS dematerialized. The sound echoed through the courtyard. The sound of hope.The mysterious sound she had first heard when she was just a little girl. A little girl who saw a strange man come out of a magic blue box and did the natural thing. She punched him in the crotch.

She smiled at the memory as the box faded. And the sound of the TARDIS still rang in her ears when the first Emanation was released into the Time War. When it landed on Akillian. 

She was still smiling when the universe received a grim reminder. 

It wasn’t a normal bolt of lightning. 

The sound came first. Singular and deafening. Like someone had struck an anvil in the heavens as hard as they possibly could.It reverberated through the night sky, across the city and its celebrations. The revelry and the drunken stupor of salvation suddenly frozen..

The blazing yellow bolt of lightning tore through the stygian clouds, crashing down straight into the heart of the city. 

First, the flash. 

The intense tsunami of light washed over the city in an instant.The heat of this light produced a thermal pulse so energetic and hot that everything in the radius of a kilometer was just ...gone. Like water sprinkled onto a red hot pan. A sizzle and then, nothing. One moment the people stared up at the sky, the next they were ash scattered in the wind.

The flash was followed by the shockwaves. 

There were two.

The heat and radiation of the explosion sent a bubble of superheated and super-compressed air expanding faster than the speed of sound.Winds stronger than any tornado razed all metropolitan infrastructure to the ground.Any buildings within the secondary blast radius were ground down to their base. All throughout the city, trees blackened and smoldering from the heat a second before snapped like toothpicks.Cars flew like leaves in a hurricane and houses collapsed like they were made of cards as a firestorm burnt the rubble and everyone trapped in it. 

The survivors lucky enough to be standing in the right place at the right time and the thousands of residents in the Undercity lucky enough to be unhurt and unburnt were hit by the second wave, coming several seconds after the first. 

A wave of temporal flux that knew no physical barrier, spanning a dozen kilometers and within— fractured time. Fires blazed and went out all at once. Trees and grass sparked with life, popping into existence green and blooming only to wither and die. People, rubble and shattered husks of structures aged thousands of years and turned to dust. Some came back to life only to cease to ever have existed. Their screams of agony, the memories of nobody. 

The flux wave weakened as it travelled outwards and washed over the city but its sphere of influence reached far past the landing site. Hundreds upon hundreds of square kilometers of civilization regressed through time. The ornate, impossible architecture of the Akillians turning to concrete and mud huts. Their weapons were reduced to ballistic rifles, sticks and stones. The people taken several millenia back down their evolution chain. The temporal flux that is released as an Emanation transforms does not discriminate. The shockwave should have been just as likely to randomly progress the timelines, progress the Akillian civilization. But , from the second the Emanation came into being, from the second the lightning bolt struck Akillian and carried him into Actuality, there was no longer any future to be had. 

In the centre of all the carnage, calamity, chaos and confusion stood the Emanation. 200 feet tall and wreathed in golden glowing energy. 

The first of the Dreadnought Class. The Emanation of Time. 

* * *

“Sis ! Sis ! Wake up !” 

“Huh ? Whuzzat ? “ she said groggily, unfurling herself from the nest of pillows and blankets in front of the fireplace. She was having such a nice dream for once in the past 5 years. Dreams of hell and servitude to the Daleks replaced with the most beautiful dusty magic box. 

“Ugh. Why are you always so damn loud ?!” 

“Shut up and look outside ! It’s a meteor shower !” 

Dozens of arcs of light traced the night sky,lighting up the dark countryside and sailing towards the horizon. _Must be some special display for the Doctor._ She smiled. It was breathtaking. Streaks of jagged yellow light burst into existence over their heads as they walked out onto the balcony, hauntingly beautiful and mesmerizing. It didn’t look anything like a meteor shower. But he didn’t need to know that. 

“Well ? Make a wish” she told her brother as the lights danced across his face, his eyes wide with awe.

No, it didn’t look anything like a meteor shower. If you asked her, it looked like an oncoming storm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For an idea as to what the Emanation of Time looks like and of the Emanations in general, check out the works of Peter Mohrbacher — [The Angelarium](https://www.angelarium.net/seraphim#/remph/)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bellows of pain  
> And scraping of chains  
> The echoes they taunt and deceive me  
> Oceans of blame  
> And rivers of shame  
> The fury it never leaves me.

“Hello, my impossi—”

He stopped short as the Doctor launched himself off Clara’s lap in a burst of energy and rammed the Eleventh Doctor into a tree. 

As soon as his body connected, his figure melted into shadow. A silhouette which then broke apart into a dozen black birds. Black as night. Birds made from the same shadow. Croaking and cawing as they flew in different directions.

 _Ravens_ , Clara thought. 

The birds flew to her side. Coalescing and melting back into the figure of the Eleventh Doctor, grinning. “Tsk tsk. Temper temper”

“Ah, thought so” said the Twelfth Doctor as he smoothed himself down. “There is no way you could be here without the lines of convergence being set on fire. And I don’t remember being able to teleport. Neat trick. Come away from him Clara.”

Clara did as she was told, clambering to her feet and over to her Doctor’s side. “Okay you gonna clue me in on what the blazes is happening right now? How is he —”

“That isn’t me”

“Yeah I figured. But he certainly looks and sounds like you used to. Who is he then?” she asked in a bewildered whisper, eyes wide. This just wasn’t her day. 

“Haven’t the foggiest. Let’s ask him.”

“Wha-Hey !” 

“Alright hair flop. Who are you ?!” roared the Doctor.

“I’m the Doctor.” said the not-Doctor as he twirled on his heel. ”See?”

“No. _I_ am the Doctor.”

“Well, if you’re the Doctor and I’m the Doctor, then who’s flying the plane ?” said bow-tie with that childish grin she knew so well. Whoever this was, he certainly played the part, right down to his mannerisms. “Eh ? Eh ? Nobody ?” His shoulders slumped dejectedly.

“Enough with the pantomime. Answer the question! This charade might have held water if you hadn’t exploded into birds. Sorry about that by the way. It’s just ...I see a bow-tie and I can’t help it” 

“Oh, I see you’ve gone all rude and cynical again.” He sighed and straightened himself up. “You know who I am. We’ve met before. Looked _slightly_ different then. But, at least I got to keep the Bow-tie. And this new coat is a massive improvement.” He said spinning on his heel again so his coat fanned about. “Date night ?” he asked, as they stared back blankly. 

“Oh, do try and keep up. Fine. Maybe this will refresh your memory”. Suddenly, Clara heard the sound of birds chirping all around them though she couldn’t tell the source. 

“What are you —Oh no” said the Doctor looking around him in alarm. 

“And the penny drops.” sang Bow-Tie as he mimed one clattering onto the ground, whistling for effect. The chirping magnified multiple fold. It felt like the noise was in her head, reverberating around her skull. A thousand birds screeching in a cacophony of noise and confusion until…

“And that’s enough of that.” With a snap of his fingers, the chirping ceased abruptly. Silence. The Eleventh Doctor straightened his bow-tie.“You can call me…”

“No, don’t say it. Don’t you say it” said the Doctor. 

“ _The Dream Lord”_

The Doctor groaned. Clara stared between her Doctor and _her Doctor_ feeling lost and out of the loop.

“Dream Lord? You can’t be serious. That’s not a real thing….is it? Dream Lords don’t exist” she nervously asked the Doctor. _Her Doctor._

“Anything and everything in the universe is as real as you let it be. Whether they exist or not is irrelevant”

“Oh thanks. I was worried you were going to be vague about this. Phew.”

“Well he calls himself the Dream Lord, what do you think that means Clara ? Theorize.” 

“Dream Lord. He controls dreams yeah ? “ 

“Dreams, hallucinations, delusions, _cheap tricks”_ grumped the Doctor. “It’s in the name, the existence is suspect by its very nature. I met him once back in my early Bow-tie days. Fresh out of regeneration. Travelling with Amy and Rory.” A sad, soft smile crossed his face as he said their names. Clara knew about the Ponds. She knew how much they meant to him. She knew their story. 

The old Doctor would never talk about them or any past companions for that matter. But, this one. Her debonair, floofy haired Doctor. He was much more open with her. Even before his newfound penchant for hoodies and moth-eaten jumpers, in his more cynical and acerbic days, the two of them would chat over tea between their adventures. Sometimes in the TARDIS. Often in her flat. They sipped their tea as he regaled her with stories from his past. She had had a deep understanding of the Doctor during the years she travelled with her Chin-boy, but it was with this Doctor that she had started to unearth all the stories that made him the man she loved. He told her about his life in Gallifrey, his academy days, his family, his granddaughter Susan, his escapades with UNIT in the 70’s. He told her about Jenny- the daughter he had once dared to hope he could have before she was snatched away once again. He told her about the various companions throughout his lives. Clara could tell some were special, some meant so much more to him than the others. She could pick out the Rose, the River and the Amy and Rory from his stories. Clara knew that they were ultimately responsible for her crossing paths with him. They were the reason he sulked in the clouds in Victorian London until he encountered one of her echoes — a story he had only told her about recently, after Christmas. Their loss was also the reason he had so passionately and desperately clung to her when they met properly, the madman in his box. 

“I was still settling into my body. Re-evaluating. Rediscovering myself. You lose sight sometimes. It certainly wasn’t the longest it took….as you know” said the Doctor with a quick sideways glance at Clara. 

“Some psychic pollen got caught in the time rotors of the TARDIS and put us into a dream state. We were stuck between two realities, both equally bizarre and nonsensical, phasing out of one and into another erratically. The Dream Lord was the architect of those machinations, a manifestation of….doesn’t matter.” the Doctor waved his hands dismissively as he continued “The point is, it turned out neither reality was real and we only managed to break free by virtue of a choice Amy made. That and me blowing up the TARDIS.”

“Sorry, what was that last bit?”

“What ? Blowing up the TARDIS ? Oh, you have NO idea. I’ll tell you someday. Anyways, what’s important is...trust nothing. Question every—”

“Oh for god’s sake! It’s never nice dreams and breakfast in bed with you is it ?“

“Come now Clara. I give you all of time and space. Dreams are overrated.”

“Pah ! Shows what you know. I have some _very interesting_ dreams when you’re not around.” said Clara arching an eyebrow. “So to speak” she amended with a smirk.

“Are you two always like this ? _”_ said Bow-Tie pointing between the two of them. “You remind me of Amy and Rory.” 

“Shut up!” yelled the Doctor and Clara in unison. “Can’t you see we’re working out how to defeat you ?” said the Doctor.

“But you’re not. You’re…bantering. Flirting even...I think.”

 _“_ How dare you ! I do not banter. I am very clear about my stance on bantering.”

“Doctor, focus.” Clara hissed. Honestly, the point of running expositional interference was to distract the adversary, not themselves. Dealing with the Doctor was like herding cats sometimes. All the time. It was like herding cats, all the time.

“Right, sorry. He irks me. He’s irksome. He used to be much better looking last time. Shorter though. You would have liked him. Someone you can see eye to eye wi—OW!” he exclaimed as Clara pinched him on the side. Fine. She’d just ask the other Doctor then. Direct approach.

“So what, is this like last time, we’re dreaming ? Bit unoriginal don’t you think, seeing as the Doctor’s successfully seen through you before?“ she called out to the Bow-Tie Doctor as he listened to them with enthusiasm, wringing his hands. _No. Dream Lord,_ she corrected herself. Despite appearance, voice and spot-on mannerisms, this wasn’t her Doctor. That man was standing beside her rubbing his side where she had pinched him, looking adorably peeved. She knew that, and yet...

“Oh? You’re going to commit suicide again to break through my influence? Are you sure you want to take that chance? I’ll warn you, I’ve learnt some new tricks since last time. For starters, whoever said you were dreaming ? You’re still in the Schism aren’t you ? Even I would have picked a better location to damn you in. No, the Emanation of Dreams has different plans”.

Clara’s eyes narrowed as she latched onto the words. _Emanation of Dreams_

“He’s right. He could just as easily be a hallucination or a superimposed reality of some kind.” said the Doctor. 

**“** Yes! Ding ding! Give the man a prize” the Dream Lord exclaimed excitedly as he began to approach them. “You are not dreaming. I would have to fear for your sanity if this is what your dreams looked like.” he said waving vaguely around him.

“So we can just ignore you and be on our way ?” piped the Doctor.

“Oh I might not be real, but the danger definitely is. And so too is my hold over your senses. It’s kind of my thing. Trust me my Clara. My power is no _illusion_.” He straightened his bow-tie with a smug grin. “I am the Doctor.”

The Doctor fumed beside her. Clara knew what the plan of action had to be, they didn’t know enough. They needed data. Whatever was going on, they would need to wait until the Dream Lord showed their hand.

“Okay, let’s get this straight _exploding bird_ ! You are not the Doctor and _she_ is not your Clara. Stop this ! What do you want ?!”

“Oh. Touched a nerve have I ? Unsurprising. Tell me, Doctor. Last time we met you told me that there is only one person in the entire universe who hates you as much as I do.” The Dream lord was now nose to nose with the Doctor. “ _I now look exactly like you used to_. What does that tell you, hmm?” he continued, voice dropping a several octaves but still maintaining that smooth quality of the Doctor’s eleventh incarnation. The smile never left his lips. 

Clara had forgotten that he could do that. That he could flip that switch .She had forgotten that sometimes the youthful, eccentric façade would drop away to reveal the ageless and ancient being within. The man who walked away from the Last Great Time War, who walked the universe staring into the depths of the abyss as it stared back into him. He had always tried to hide it from her but sometimes the mask would slip, the veil would flutter and she would glimpse the sliver of ice in his heart as the wide-eyed wonder and gleam in his eyes she had loved so much went out and his eyelids hooded. In hindsight, Clara realized now that that was when the Doctor’s eleventh incarnation seemed the most at ease with himself. In those rare moments, Clara noted how relaxed he seemed, almost cocky. As if he relished the power he knew he wielded. How the tension in his face disappeared and the ever-present smile he had on whenever he looked at her turned cold and sardonic. It was terrifying.

“Tell me Doctor. Why this face? Why did I choose…this face ?” he said, chin cocked in challenge. The Doctor stared down at him coolly, brow furrowed. Eyes blazing.

The dream lord smiled as he reached out for the Doctor’s collar. Right where he would have worn the Bow-tie, Clara realized. He stopped himself. His shoulders relaxed. The moment broke as he turned away, arms stiff at his sides, fists clenched.

“What happened, Doctor? Where is he?” he asked over his shoulder, steely gaze locked onto the Doctor.

“What are you blathering about now?”

“Where is the Doctor ? Where are the eyes consumed by sin and depravity ? Where is the Ka Faraq Gatri, the Bane of the Emanations, the Reaper of Reality, the Flying Light ? The God of calamity that made the universe tremble at the mention of his name, Where is the Doctor of War?

The Doctor stayed silent, his jaw clenched but Clara saw him glance at her, eyes softening.

“Two words: Clara.Oswald.” he said finally, and Clara felt the words land in her chest. 

“Ah that’s right. You saved Gallifrey and ...you saved yourself. Is that it ? Bang up job mate, you don’t even know where it is” laughed the Dream Lord, as he whirled around and hopped towards them, grinning gleefully. “Bouncy trouncy, flouncy pouncy, fun fun fun. The saddest thing about the time lords is you’re still the only one” he sang mirthlessly. 

“You saved Gallifrey. But at what cost ? How many bodies have you stepped over to get here ? “How many people have you sacrificed ? You ask people to come with you, you give them all of time and space and then... you take your payment. You take their future. You take the course of their lives, the lives they could have had. You take their memories. There once was a Doctor who saved Gallifrey but threw all his companions lives away” recited the Dream Lord. “Tell me, as you walk through the universe destroying people in your wake, do you keep count ?” 

“Everything ends. People can’t always be saved but I — " said the Doctor tightly. 

_“What about Amelia?”_

Clara felt the Doctor stiffen at her side.

“Rory hmm? What about River ?”

“I- I wasn’t-. I didn’t have a choice.” the Doctor stammered.

“Rose, Martha, Donna. You gave them lives unburdened by you and your miserable existence. You saved them.” The figure of the Eleventh Doctor clapped sarcastically. “But then. Ah , but then you regenerated and ... _Total party kill !_ Every. Single. Person under your care died. You dropped into Amelia’s life, poisoned her childhood, failed to save her daughter and then at the end of it all you _led her by the hand_ to her death.”

“Shut up! You’re a manifestation of my psyche. You _know_ what happened. They were happy. I saw to that, I – I did everything I could.”

“THAT’S THE POINT !!” 

Clara flinched at the force of his words as he stalked briskly towards them, finger raised and pointing at the doctor. Face of storms. She felt a strong urge to back away. She’d never been on the other end of this before and it was terrifying. 

“I did everything right, they died anyway!! “They cared for you. They loved you. They treated you like family. And I let them down, Doctor. You…let them down.”

“Stop it.The laws of time—” protested the Doctor weakly. 

“And you didn’t stop there did you ?! Oh no, no. Not you.” His fiery gaze landed on Clara at his side.

“Clara? Your impossible girl ? She saved you, you say ? What about Oswin, hmm ? Stuck inside a Dalek, a fate worse than death. How _the hell_ could you let that happen. Oh, she must have been so so scared”

The Doctor took a half step forward.”That’s enough. Stop this. Stop it NOW!” he roared. 

“You left her to die !” The Dream Lord yelled back, voice starting low and calm before bursting explosively, “But still. That wasn’t enough. Victorian London. She died again ! Again and again. Clara Oswald’s blood is splattered across the cosmos. All through time. Over and over, she died for you. You and your miserable, wretched life.” He clasped a hand over his hearts as his face broke. “My Clara…”

This.This was too much. She knew it wasn’t him, but there was no way it couldn’t be. He sounded so tortured and heartbroken, so much like those rare moments when he thought she wasn’t listening, and the times when he would drop his walls and let her see. See him. The times they were beginning to share , when everything changed. He sounded so much like the man she had fallen in love with, that it made her heart ache. 

“Doctor —” she began, still reeling from the force of his anger and sorrow. She knew it wasn’t the Doctor. And yet, she couldn’t help it. 

“Danny Pink”

It was Clara’s turn to freeze. 

“After all of that. After all she did for you. Gallifrey. Your cursed timestream. Trenzalore. _Twice_ ! Your brand new regeneration cycle. New lease on life.” The Eleventh Doctor’s face smiled sardonically at the Doctor, eyes still wet. “After all that. She only ever asked for one thing. The one time she needed you. You failed her.“ The Dream Lord’s gaze turned towards her standing silently, unable to say anything even though she knew she should. The curse of the Arai still fresh on her mind. ”But, you know what the really funny part is ? She knew. Didn’t you Clara ?.Clara _knew_ that you wouldn’t help her. That’s why she did what she did. What ? You think she would have turned against me ?” 

The simple truth in the statement left her paralyzed. Clara knew she should intervene, protest , stop whatever this was. Yet, she didn’t know what to say. _Because it was true._

The Dream Lord continued his tirade. Standing inches away from the Doctor within swinging distance, the tension evident in both their bodies. **“** No. You saw what you forced her to do and still, you failed her. All this time she’s travelled with you and she only ever asked for one thing. One thing. She only ever needed one thing and you failed !” he bellowed and Clara instinctively put herself between them before she remembered that it wasn’t her Chin-Boy. The Doctor retreated and turned his back,hand raising to cover his face.As Clara watched him it reminded her very much of the day in question. The day she had done it. The day that changed everything. 

“Face it mate. You’re a bloody disgrace.” The Dream Lord finished lowly.

“I know” the Doctor muttered. His eyes downcast towards the ground. He whirled to face them again. 

“But I did what I had to do. The laws of time are absolute. You know what would have happened if I had tried to save Danny Pink. The consequences of changing time, changing death. No life is worth that. If I could have saved him I could have saved Lucie. Tamsin. Adric. I….I could have saved River. Amy and Rory. But I made a choice. If you were anything close to the Doctor, you would know this. When given a choice, something must be chosen. No matter how deplorable. How painful. We choose, because we never walk away. I never walk away. We fight to the bitter end, because the one choice I will never make is choose to accept it. The day I do, the day I kneel is the day I stop being the Doctor.” 

“And there he is.The high and mighty. So, I have a question for you. _A paradox_ if you will. What do you do when there is an evil you cannot defeat by just means, do you stain your hands with evil to destroy evil or do you remain steadfastly just and righteous even if it means surrendering to evil ?” The Dream Lord didn’t wait for an answer. “But of course, we know what you’ll choose don’t we Clara ? You want to talk about choice ? Okay, okay….” he clapped his hands and the world dropped away, warping around them. The avian cacophony in her head starting up again. 

“Let’s play a game” boomed his voice from all around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus: A thematically relevant edit I made a while ago — [Doctor Who || Descent](https://youtu.be/O4UprRbEsf0)


	3. Chapter 3

When Clara opened her eyes again, she found herself and the Doctor standing inside the TARDIS console room, but it wasn’t _their_ TARDIS. 

“This is…” Clara whispered as the rest of her thought trailed away. 

The neon-green lights on the central rotor cast a cold, eerie glow across the polished metal walls and from a quick cursory glance on the console in front of her, Clara could tell that the Doctor had yet to make the telepathic circuits functional. He had done that after he had saved Gallifrey. _Inspired by Zygon Technology,_ he had said gleefully as she watched him fiddle with the circuits on the lower levels hanging from a swing, “sciency goggles” in place. It was only more recently, during one of her lessons piloting the TARDIS that this newer Doctor had admitted that he had done so in the hopes that he might use them to find Gallifrey. _And so you could have an easier time flying the TARDIS with me,_ he had muttered hurriedly before changing the subject. Clara had grinned ear to ear at that. 

Looking around the old console room now, her first experience of the TARDIS, she realized for the first time how impersonal it seemed compared to the more revamped version she was used to now. Warmer and cozier with blackboards and bookshelves lining the walls. The orange glow lending a hearth-like ambiance. _And doing wonders for setting the mood._ This neon- green TARDIS had none of that, and yet it filled her with a profound sense of loss. Cold and distant though it may be, it had a haunting beauty to it that echoed that of the Doctor himself. 

“Now then, let’s begin” boomed the voice of the Eleventh Doctor.

One of the console monitors flickered on, snapping Clara out of her wistful reverie. It showed a bird’s eye view of two cruise ships sailing across a deep blue sea. 

“Three hundred are on one ship. Two hundred on another…” began the Dream Lord, his voice now filtering in through the console speakers, as if he was on the other end of a phone call. “ Five hundred total passengers and crew plus the Doctor. Let’s assume that these five hundred people are humanity’s last survivors. A giant hole simultaneously opens up in both ships, crippling them. The Doctor alone has the skills needed to repair a ship. Now then, which one of the ships would you choose to fix ?”

The Doctor opened his mouth to speak, but before he could another familiar voice echoed through the old console room. Rough and gravelly, a voice Clara recognized as that of the forgotten Doctor. The one he chooses to never talk about. _Rarely talk about_ , Clara corrected. The voice of the Doctor that fought in the Time War. 

“Simple, the one holding 300 people.” croaked the voice. 

“What ?!” yelled the Doctor, as he looked around the room. 

“Very good ! Now, as soon as you make that decision, the 200 passengers on the other ship kidnap you and take you prisoner. Desperate to survive and prepared to resort to any means, they demand that you fix their ship first, what will you do ?

The Doctor stayed silent by her side, lips pursed and brow furrowed. Perhaps, thinking of his answer, perhaps working out what was going on and what the point of this was. All three probably. 

He never got to answer. Their thoughts were interrupted by the muffled sounds of gunfire coming from outside the TARDIS. Clara and the Doctor shared a look before they made their way to the TARDIS doors. 

They stepped out onto the blood stained deck of a cruise ship, the sun blazing overhead as bodies lay sprawled every which way as the blood dripped over the sides and seeped into the polished bronze wood. Behind them and above where the TARDIS stood, Clara saw the glass windows of the Bridge splattered with red. The Doctor stood stock-still, eyes wide with horror. 

“You would kill all 200 passengers. That is correct. That is the Doctor we know.The man who makes all the hard choices, so that others don’t have to” echoed the disembodied voice of the Eleventh Doctor. Of the Dream Lord. 

“What is this ? These...these people. I know them. They’re ….” gasped the Doctor. 

“Akillians, yes. The Gallifreyans are on the other ship, safe and sound because of what you did. They might even be celebrating like the Akillians were on that day. You really should have stayed to dance, Doctor.”

“Shut up! “ spat the Doctor as he stood rigid,not moving a muscle as his eyes blazed. As Clara reached out to gently grab his arm, the Dream Lord spoke again.

“Next, the surviving 300 Gallifreyans abandon their damaged craft, they split themselves between two new ships and continue their journey. This time, there are 200 on one and 100 on the other. But again, holes open in the hulls of both ships at exactly the same time.”

“Wait…” muttered the Doctor as the skies rapidly turned dark, and stars twinkled in the sky. Night had fallen in an instant. 

“The 100 in the smaller ship take you prisoner , and like the others demand that you fix their ship first. Now what will you do ?”

“Stop this...I know what you’re doing ! Stop it!” 

Between one blink and the next, the scenery around her had changed. It was still nighttime, but they were standing at what appeared to be the docks, surrounded by stacks of giant metal crates and cranes overhead. The salty breeze fluttered her hair as she noticed what was in front of them.

A box, silver and engraved with gold. A single metal stalk protruded from its top and opened like rose petals to reveal a giant ruby red jewel. A button, with the Doctor’s hand pressed on it. _The Moment._

An explosion rocked the docks and the ground beneath them as they whirled around to see a ship engulfed in flames, only a few hundred feet from reaching the pier. The blazing flames a beacon in the night as coal -black smoke billowed from the inferno and rose up into the blackness of the night to block out the stars. The Doctor stared at his hand in horror.

“Yes, Doctor. You made the right decision.” echoed the voice of the Dream Lord, silky smooth and tinged with an undercurrent of amusement. 

“No ! That’s impossible ! How the hell can that be the right decision ?! Two hundred survived but three hundred died so they could live. The scales are tipped the wrong way ! “ 

“No. Your calculations were correct. The Doctor is always right. Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones, but you still have to choose. You made a choice to sacrifice the few to save the many, a choice you have made many times before. The choice you were intent on making on Gallifrey on the last day of the Time War. A choice you thought you made and actually found a way to live with.” laughed the disembodied voice of the Dream Lord. The child-like innocence in it made it all the more disconcerting. “The scales are tipped the wrong way ? You have always chosen to save those on the heavier side of the scales, even if it meant leaving a long trail of bodies behind you. If it saved lives, the lives of the saved must have been more important than those you destroyed and you are the one who determines how much they’re worth. Here, stands the Doctor. Judge, jury and executioner. The savior of worlds. The Time Lord Victorious.”

“I…”

That’s enough. This stops now. Clara reached out to grab his arm, turning him around to face her. He wouldn't look at her, couldn’t look at her. His eyes wide and trained on the ground. 

So, she slapped him. Hard. 

The Doctor yelped in surprise, nursing his cheek and blinking owlishly down at her and Clara saw the world melt around them back into the nightmarish hellscape of the Schism. _Much better._

“Boy, you really love the sound of your voice don’t you ? Time Lord Victorious ? Sheesh, and you call me the egomaniac“ she said, hands on her hips as the Doctor continued to frown at her. “Oh yeah, ask me what that was for, I dare you“ 

“I know what that was for “the Doctor muttered, still rubbing his cheek. 

“Do you really ? Do tell, because I’m not so sure.” 

“Because I’m an idiot ?” 

“Ha! No, because you pissed me the hell off. But, good answer. B plus.” she said as a dozen ravens flew past them and coalesced into the form of Bow-Tie, doing a 360 degree spin and looking around like a confused Beagle. _That confirms her working theory._

“What did you do ?” asked the Dream Lord, having stopped chasing his tail. 

“Ah, well you see —”

“She slapped me straight to Hell” finished the Doctor, the faintest smirk evident on his lips. 

“Yeah, that.” 

_Good, he was snapping out of it._ Truth was, he had started to really scare her. This was all clearly a manifestation of his own self-loathing and god knows what other psychological issues this idiot lugged around. But, the Dream Lord seemed to be entirely fixated on the Doctor and the more the Dream Lord talked the more Clara became certain that he was emanating solely from the Doctor, and she was just tagging along for the ride. _Big mistake._

“Look exploding bird, I understand. It’s hard to see from under that anvil of a forehead. But there are no Time Lord victoriouses in this hellhole. Victoriouses ? Victori ? Time Lord victories ? Nah, that doesn’t sound right.” 

“Thank god you’re not an English teacher.” muttered the Doctor. 

“Hush!” 

Clara continued. “See the thing is, you’ve rather shown your hand. You’re clearly not the Doctor, because he would know better than to focus on just one of us and let the other work things out. Because, see now I’ve got all these ideas in my head. Idea number 1: You draw all your power and influence from the Doctor’s psyche. Idea number 2 : You have no access to mine because if you did you would know how idotic half of those egotistical monologues sounded. Dear God, is this what you’re like when I’m not around ? “ she asked the Doctor.

“Well…” 

She didn’t wait for an answer before plowing on. On a roll, now.

“Idea number 3: Your whole schtick is to trap your victim in a prison of their own mind. Meaning that leaving me out of the loop was a mistake. Because, any Doctor worth their salt knows that it’s simple enough to break _into_ a prison. And every break in usually starts with….” 

“A bang!” finished the Doctor. “So, one good Clara Oswald slap and we’re back in business.” 

“ You got that right ! You draw your power from the Doctor. You feed on him, and since we’ve already established that we’re _not_ dreaming, all I need to do is starve you of your food source, all I need to get rid of you is to knock this idiot out.” she said thumping the Doctor on the chest. 

“Precisely! Wait, what ?” said the Doctor nervously, frowning down at her. 

“Ohohoho !” exclaimed the Dream Lord clapping appreciatively. “Well done ! Excellent deductions, Clara. But. But. But, are you sure knocking him out is the best idea with a legion of Arai on their way ?” 

Clara felt her bravado deflate in an instant. Her triumphant smirk faltering. “What?” 

“I told you at the start that the danger was very real and so too was my hold over your senses. You should have listened. I also told you that I was the Doctor, and you really should know better than to let me talk which is _all_ I’ve been doing. Wakey Wakey, Boys and girls ! Woopsie doopsie, impossible girl !” sang the Dream Lord as the space above them warped into black smoke. 

One by one, Clara watched the Arai materialize around them, talons extended, fangs bared and whips cracking. 

“Oh but I’m not done yet, my Clara.” continued the Dream Lord confidently. “Did you really think visions of the Doctor’s true nature was all I had up my sleeve ? Nah love, I was buying time. You only stepped into my domain for an instant, so my hold over your senses was tenuous.” 

“Your domain ?” asked the Doctor backing away, Clara’s hand held tightly in his. “The cliff …” 

“The cliff” confirmed the Dream Lord. “ You fell into the domain of Dumah, the Emanation of Dreams. You teleported away within seconds of falling in, but it was enough to establish a psychic link. And now ? Now I have amassed enough power to do something really interesting. To do ....this.” 

Clara couldn’t explain what happened then, as her head pounded like a bass drum and it felt like she was going to be sick, if she had had anything in her stomach to throw up, she would have. It was like her senses folded in on themselves; sight, sound, smell , taste and touch blending together for an instant before rearranging completely _wrong._

When Clara regained her bearings, she found herself having collapsed against the Doctor. But looking around , she couldn’t make sense of what she was seeing. 

Everything was upside down. The Dream Lord now hung from the ceiling or rather ...the ground they had been standing on had shifted to relocate above them. Meanwhile, Clara and the Doctor were apparently suspended downside up in the skies of the Schism, dozens of feet above ground and standing on thin air. Clara’s sense of balance and gravity told her that she was definitely upside down and yet .... the blood didn’t rush to her head. 

“Welcome…” called out the Dream Lord from above their heads as half a dozen Arai gathered around them similarly hanging from the sky. “To the inverted world.” 

“All your senses of direction are now reversed. Like a puzzle game. Isn’t that fun ? “

 _Hold over their senses_ , he had said. This was bad. The idea that they might have to fight off the Artai once again with their sense of ...everything in utter chaos terrified her. _But if this was the Dream Lord’s influence, then if she could get her bearings enough to somehow knock the Doctor out…_

“Go ahead, Clara. Do it. I know what you’re thinking and you’re right. Put the Doctor out of commission and I disappear. But, Grandad over here is special. He is immune to the Arai, he’s your one hope of defense. A meat shield. Do you want to take your chances on your own ?” 

Clara felt the Doctor’s hold tighten around her and she looked back and met his eyes. He shook his head at her. His upside down head. _Her_ upside down head. 

“Although, you might not have to wait long. The Doctor is ready to keel over any second now, aren’t you ? All those previous injuries from the Arai and the regeneration backlash. It’s a wonder I’m here at all. “ 

A flicker of movement and she saw the first Arai lunge for the Doctor as he pushed Clara behind him, moving in for a counter ...except he groaned out in pain as she watched the back of his coat get ripped open by claw marks, made by invisible talons. 

“Oh no, Doctor weren’t you listening ? All your senses are reversed. Up and down, left and right, even ...front and back.” 

The Doctor fell to his knees on thin air. The next Arai pounced.

“Doctor, behind you !” Clara called out instinctively and realized her mistake. _It wouldn’t be behind him,_ she realized. It would be on the opposite side, the front. But, the Doctor got to the conclusion first and moved accordingly, glancing behind him to assess the threat and returning to face the front where the threat really would be. Where nothing would be. And yet…

The Doctor cried out in pain once again as she saw a wound in his leg open up this time. _What ?_

“Tsk tsk tsk. What did I just say ? Everything is reversed. Up and down, left and right, front and back and …” Clara saw the Dream Lord smile coldly from above them. “...the direction you’re facing and the direction of the attack are also reversed.” 

Clara felt her stomach drop. This ...this was impossible. And when she met the Doctor’s eyes, she realized he knew it too.

“Can you really fight while reversing all of that in your head ? Even if you’re able to react, its impossible to control your reflexes, your instincts. The more used to battle you are, the more of a warrior you are- the more vulnerable you become. Frankly, Clara stands a better chance at this than you do. Go on Doctor, call it in. Leave her to fend for herself , you’ll have to sooner or later at this rate.”

“Doctor…” Clara gasped.

The rest of the Arai lunged at them from all sides.

“So , Beast of Trenzalore. How _ever_ will you get out of this one ?”


End file.
